what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
should my penis look like a turkey
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Green mimosas i think yes
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
