Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
tonight lets celebrate not being married
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
