My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I touched a dick in church today
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
