So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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