Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
4 words: hood of his car
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
