So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I think my fart just growled at me.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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