she was so not down for the gang bang
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
