What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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