He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
