My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
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