We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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