Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
