just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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