halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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