He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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