is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
