She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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