is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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