I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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