I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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