whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
