farters have to be the big spoon...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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