I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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