You smell like a Billy Joel song
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Is her dick bigger than yours?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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