Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
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