We're facebook friends in real life
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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