We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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