I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize