who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
