i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
