well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
