one two three fourrrrnication!
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Randomize
