drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
