i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
The adults are the big ones right?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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