Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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