I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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