Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
