He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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