dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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