I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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