i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
