There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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