Jerry, you need to find god
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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