I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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