Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you will always have a special place in my vag
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Randomize