I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
She needs sedatives and a leash
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
