Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize