Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
