what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
