GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize