you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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