And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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