Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize