Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
