A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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