Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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