I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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